Warning: Do Not Try This Product At Home

In fact, don't try this product anywhere, ever. L'Oreal's New Sublime Bronze Luminous Bronzer Self-Tanning Lotion is all shades of wrong. Literally, look at what it did to my skin:


There's nothing worse than streaking and now I look like I have some sort of skin disease.

Let's asses:

The company gushes, "Go from pale princess to luminous bronze goddess in an instant." True, except I'd replace "luminous bronze goddess" with "tragically streaked skin."

"A beautifully radiant sun-kissed look, streak-free, sun-free." NOT TRUE (save for the sun-free part)! Just glance at my arm - does that look streak-free to you?

"All with a new deliciously fresh summer scent." If summer smells like a tanning bed, then yes, this is summer's very own scent. Delicious and fresh? Not quite.

The color is so obviously from a bottle (a very dark brown that is anything but natural), the formula is sticky and, sadly, it even smells fake. I'm usually a huge fan of L'Oreal bronzers - their Sublime Glow was one of my picks for best bronzers of 2007. Not this product.

Seems to me that someone at the L'Oreal chemist's lab needs a refresher course on self-bronzers.

You've been warned, ladies, you've been warned.

Now excuse me while I spend the rest of the day scrubbing my arm with cleaning detergent. No, seriously.

Have YOU ever experienced a horrendous fake tan?
What did YOU do?
HELP ME!!!!

Beauty Bust: Cargo's Lash Activator

Cargo's newest mascara, Lash Activator, is sadly not worth the hooplah. No disrespect to Cargo - I happen to be a huge fan of their organic PlantLove collection (the bronzer is especially glam) - but the mascara is a major disappointment.

And I really, really wanted to love it -- it even comes equipped with a plastic-bristled brush (and you know how I heart a good plastic applicator)!

The gimmick is that Lash Activator is "proven to boost the appearance of lashes in just 30 days!" Is there a money back guarantee? No, I didn't use for the 30-day entirety, but just the one day was enough to turn my lashes into a tres tragic Adam's Family makeover.

Here's why I'm not down with the Lash Activator:

The formula is SO clumpy, even the plastic brush can't separate my glued-together lashes, nor can my trusty tweezerman lash comb. With other mascaras, I can overlook a slight mishap (for example, I still use Maybelline's Lash Stiletto even though it tends to flake - but I really dig the way it gives me spider-like lengthy lashes). With this Cargo mascara, it neither volumizes, lengthens or separates. The only thing it does really well is clump. And paint my tiny lash hairs a highly pigmented black.

Although, I'm not a fan of Lash Activator, I still have faith in Cargo.

Has anyone else tried the mascara and loved it?